Nerd Culture Podcast

For your reading pleasure, here’s another entry in my series of interviews with famous video game characters. There will be several more coming down the pipeline, so I hope you keep coming back to Nerd Culture Podcast!

For this instalment I have a very candid interview with none other than Mario.

In 1985 Mario hit the Nintendo Entertainment System like a pizza pie in the sky. Super Mario Brothers is one the most recognized video games ever, not to mention one of my all time favourite ones. I was playing this game when I was four years old and still play it today, it’s that awesome!

Me: Thank you for coming to this interview. I look forward to speaking with you about you and your experiences in the Mushroom Kingdom.

Mario: Okie dokie, wahoo!

Me: When were you first created?

Mario: When my mom and dad took a sip out of the same cup! But I was introduced in 1981 in Donkey Kong.

Me: Was your original name always Mario?

Mario: No, it was originally Jumpman. My parents were having a trouble giving me a name. Hell, I could have been named Luigi…missed that bullet!

Me: Is Luigi your brother?

Mario: Now yes, but originally the creator was too cheap to make a completely different character, so he just changed some colors and made Luigi. I hate Luigi, he’s a sissy who can’t do half the stuff I do!

Me: I have to say, you don’t really sound like Mario

Mario: That’s just my acting voice! C’mon, did you really think I sounded like that all the time?!

Me: Ok moving on. In 1985, your very own game came out for the Nintendo Entertainment System; how did this come about?

Mario: I’d absolutely had enough of fighting some damn monkey to save my cheating girlfriend. I decided to go out and get my own game.

Me: You went from fighting a monkey to jumping over mushrooms that have feet, fighting for another girl, and killing turtles; What the hell?

Mario: Do you know why I ate a the mushrooms? It wasn’t to get taller, it was to be high as a kite so I could get through the game! That game was originally a wonderful concept, that the creator did not want to listen to. My concept was to shot the Goombas and beat the living crap out of King Bowser, but instead I was made to rescue a girl that was in one of the 8 gazillion castles and hit my head on bricks! That game was supposed to be the original Call of Duty!

Me: What’s the purpose of the fire flower and the Starman?

Mario: The fire flower was originally for burning the crap out of the Mushroom Kingdom. It was supposed to burn each castle to the ground, even if the princess was in there or not. However, the creator decided the fire flower would only kill certain enemies. As for the Starman trips me out! He’s really known as the Super Star, but I call him Starman, so meh. That thing turns into so many colors I feel like I’m on acid. The true fact is that if I ingest this poor Starman and run into five enemies all in a row, I gain an extra life.

Me: Why do you jump on a flag pole at the end of a level?

Mario: Well I cant say the real reason…. But the creator had no clue how to end the levels, so he put a flag pole with an upside flag at the end of each level for me jump onto!

Me: Thank you for your time Mario.

Mario: My pleasure!