Nerd Culture Podcast

There are a few unwritten D&D rules:

Thou shalt never lend thy dice

Thou shalt never show thy character sheet

Always make sure appropriate snacks are available to the DM

I think Thou shalt never leave a character with the party should be added to the list.  It was a rule that a friend broke recently almost to her character’s utter ruin.

Tara has only just started playing D&D and Ashlin, a half-elf wizard, is her very first character.  And she was doing a good job of playing Ashlin as the quiet studious adventurer with a little learning and a lot to prove.  She’d even had a few successes in her first outing, killing bandits with magic missile and darts, contributing to the provision of the party by catching rabbits.

Last time we met, Tara had another engagement later that night and so after a day of solid adventuring through an undead-riddled castle she handed her character sheet over to the most experienced player there confident that he would look after her.

The very next battle…

The group have a dozen skeletons trapped in a room.  Half, having been turned, were cowering in a corner while others were blocked from attacking by a large barbarian in a doorway.  Ashlin shot the skeletons full of magic missiles scattering their bones to the four corners of the room safely in the hallway. She was protected on one side by a 20 foot deep trap and the other side by a human cleric and paladin.  We all thought her in the perfect position for a wizard, right out of harms way.

It was then two baric appeared from a room we’d opened earlier.  I wasn’t too concerned, we were the other side of the ultra nasty pit full of spikes.  It should be no problem for this group to knock over these weird rat-like creatures with duck bills, six legs and….glowing eyes….

… then the baric climbed the walls.

Both Ashlin and my pixie were ready with range attacks but the baric were faster and one was across the gap and on the barbarian before we knew it.  The second one unfortunately threw itself at the delicate Ashlin.  She didn’t have a chance.

All thought of the remaining skeletons were forgotten.  While our barbarian dealt with the vermin latched onto his loincloth, the rest of us put every effort into killing the baric now starting to digest our party member.

Murphy’s Law now decided to kick in.  Our cleric and paladin, with all their gods’ might, tried smiting the beast to no affect.  My pixie used arrow after arrow even one of his precious sleep arrows, anything to stop the monster from eating Ashlin but even that the baric saved.

And then our DM went quiet and pulled his hand away from the dice roll he’s just made.

“Umm…” He said with a nervous laugh.  “Er….how many hit points did Ashlin have?”

Have?!

“I’ve rolled a critical.”  He didn’t need to say anymore.  She’d been unconscious so was already in minus hit points.  If our DM followed the rules she was dead without a wish spell between us to bring her back.  He said nothing about Ashlin and suggested we have our turn.  Maybe if we could kill the baric this round then we could get to her in time.  Maybe we could save Ashlin and Tara wouldn’t hate us forever.

Gloriously, this round the cleric swung his maul and connected with the vermin.  A blazing cover drive over the boundary for six, it knocked the baric off our prone wizard and the DM proclaimed that we had saved her just in time.  After healing in a comfortable room Ashlin is now as whole and hearty as ever, maybe with a few interesting scars to prove she’s a seasoned adventurer.

When I talked to Tara about writing this post she had this to say:

Tara:  “Just don’t get me in trouble with any Half-elf protection agency for neglect!”

Me:  “I think they’ll let you off with a warning this time and ask you to choose your babysitters better in the future.”

Tara:  “I think I have learnt my lesson, no more baby sitters.”

Welcome back to my Spotlight on the films directed by Steven Spielberg.

Last post we had just entered the 80’s so lets see if we can finish up that awesome decade.

TWILIGHT ZONE the MOVIE

Released: 1983

Starring: Dan Ackroyd, Albert Brooks, Vic Morrow, John Lithgow

Plot: Four directors team up to tell 4 different stories in the vein of the classic TV show Twilight Zone. Spielberg directs segment #2 which is a remake of the episode ‘Kick the Can’, which involves the residents of an old folks home who encounter a new resident who promises them something no one of this Earth could possibly give them.

For: The performances are very good. Some really sweet moments that aren’t too smaltzy.

Against: Pretty boring and overshadowed by the other segments, especially #4, the Gremlin.

Favourite Scene: Don’t really have one from his segment. Lithgow’s first visual of the gremlin in #4

Rating: Steven’s segment – 1 Luke, Film – 2.5 Lukes

INDIANA JONES and the TEMPLE of DOOM

Released: 1984

Starring: Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Amrish Puri

Plot: The second installment in the Indiana Jones story (but occurring before the events of Raiders), Temple of Doom sees Dr Jones aiding a desperate Indian village retrieve their children and sacred stones from an evil Thuggee cult.

For: Darker than the other installments, Temple of Doom sees a drug controlled Indiana attempt to sacrifice his love interest and slap his young side kick around. It also has a great villain in the form of cult leader Mola Ram

Against: Wille Scot – ’nuff said.

Favourite Scene: The minecart chase

Rating: 4 Lukes

THE COLOR PURPLE

Released: 1985

Starring: Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover, Oprah Winfrey

Plot: The life and trials of a young African American woman named Celie, growing up in the early 1900’s. Impregnated by her father at 14, beaten by her husband and generally treated like crap all of her life.

For: Every single actor in this film brings their A game, including an excellent Oprah Winfrey.

Against: Sometimes too depressing. With the amount of crap Celia goes through its amazing she doesn’t become a serial killer.

Favourite Scene: Celia stands up to her piece of shit husband

Rating: 3 Lukes

EMPIRE OF THE SUN

Released: 1987

Starring: Christian Bale, John Malkovich, Miranda Richardson

Plot: A young English boy is separated from his parents and struggles to survive under Japanese occupation during World War II.

For: Great cinematography by Allen Daviau. Moving story. Christian Bale’s brilliant debut.

Against: Can’t think of anything at the moment

Favourite Scene: Jim saluting the Japanese pilots as he watches them prepare for take off.

Rating: 4 Lukes

INDIANA JONES and the LAST CRUSADE

Released: 1989

Starring: Harrison Ford, Sean Connery

Plot: When Dr. Henry Jones Sr. suddenly goes missing while pursuing the Holy Grail, eminent archaeologist Indiana Jones must follow in his father’s footsteps in order to rescue him and find the Grail before the Nazis do.

For: Connery as Jones Snr is genius. The origin of Indiana’s name, scar, aversion to snakes & outfit.’He chose, poorly.’

Against: Elsa is quite clearly a baddie from the moment she appears. Other than that, nothing.

Favourite Scene: The entire young Indiana sequence.

Rating: 4 Lukes

On this day, July 11, in 1969 David Bowie released his epic song Space Oddity. It was released to coincide with the Apollo 11 moon landings and the BBC even featured it in its coverage of the moon landings.

Being a mega space nerd for as long as I can remember, I have always loved this song. It appealed to me on multiple levels over time. As a young girl it was because it was a story all about space. I could picture Major Tom in my head sitting in his capsule, waiting to take off. I loved how it told a story of a space man. He seemed sad, but also happy to be floating around in space.

In my teen years, I appreciated it for it’s psychedelic beauty and imagery.

I was always getting something different out of it every time I heard it. The music alone, even without the lyrics, takes you on a journey.

Over time it’s become one of my all time favourites.

My love of space and science fiction is what drew me to the song (That and it sounds just brilliant!) so it was interesting to note that the song was apparently partly inspired by Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey. And, to draw out the science fiction connection, Bowie’s son, Duncan Jones, grew up to direct Moon. A movie I enjoyed immensely.

And so here at nerdculturepodcast, we salute you David Bowie, and your magnificent song Space Oddity.

I’ve seen quite a few movies in my lifetime and like a lot of people I enjoy sharing my opinions on these films. This is partly why this website and the podcast were born.

So, in order to convey my opinions in an orderly way, I will focus on a particular section of my ‘watched’ list. Namely, a particular Director, Writer, Producer, Actor, or even Genre/Theme.

To kick things off I’m going to start with Steven Spielberg, in his capacity as Director. His producing list may come another day.

This list is by no means definitive, and will only include films that I have seen. A full list of his many works can be found at IMDB

I chose Mr Spielberg because he is undoubtedly one of the most influential film makers in the history of cinema, and a great many of his projects fall into the ‘nerd’ category.

DUEL

Released: 1971

Starring: Dennis Weaver

Plot: This made for TV movie sees Weaver’s business commuter pursued and terrorized by a malevolent driver of a massive tractor-trailer after passing him. No reason is ever given for the animosity. Very Twilight Zone like. The ultimate Road Rage movie!

For: Great escalating tension and craziness. And you never find out exactly what the truck driver’s deal is.

Against: No character development. Main character bit of a dick.

Favourite Scene: The snake zoo.

Rating: 2.5 Lukes

JAWS

Released: 1975

Starring: Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, Robert Shaw

Plot: When a gigantic Great White shark begins to menace the small island community of Amity during its busy tourist season, a police chief, a marine scientist and grizzled fisherman, defy the local bureaucracy and set out to stop it.

For: What can I say that hasn’t already been said? This film has it all, great characters, gripping plot & a haunting score, and set the benchmark for the summer blockbuster. ‘You’re gonna need a bigger boat.’

Against: The shark looks terribly fake in some scenes.

Favourite Scene: A distracted and bored Brody gets the shock of his life while chumming.

Rating: 4.5 Lukes

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND

Released: 1977

Starring: Richard Dreyfuss

Plot: After an encounter with UFOs, line worker Roy Neary feels drawn to Devil’s Tower South Dakota, where something spectacular is going to happen and his life will be changed forever.

For: Spielberg’s 2nd greatest film and one of my all time favourites. When I first saw this film my life was changed and I still get shivers of excitement watching it today.

Against: I know that he is compelled beyond his will, and who wouldn’t want to travel the stars with a race of benevolent aliens, but I can’t help but criticize Roy’s willingness to abandon his family, especially the kids, with only a half-hearted attempt to win them back.

Favourite Scene: Can I only have one? Ok, everything from when Roy first encounters one of the UFO’s to when the lights come back on.

Rating: 5 Lukes

1941

Released: 1979

Starring: Dan Ackroyd, John Belushi

Plot: Hysterical Californians prepare for a Japanese invasion in the days after Pearl Harbor.

For: A great cast go all out in an effort to entertain. Good to see Spielberg try comedy.

Against: It’s not funny and, while it does pick up half way through, the first half is so unbelievably boring that its really hard to stick with it.

Favourite Scene: It has to be the Ferris Wheel.

Rating: 1 Luke

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

Released: 1981

Starring: Harrison Ford, Karen Allen

Plot: Archeology Professor and Adventurer, Indiana Jones, battles against Nazis and a rival antiquities finder in his quest to locate the Ark of the Covenant, while reuniting with the former love of his life.

For: My favourite Spielberg film and one of my 2nd favourite film of all time! This movie has everything. I have to stop typing or the rest of the post will be about how awesome this movie is.

Against: Nothing. I’m serious.

Favourite Scene: It’s too hard to pick just one so I’ll go with the entire opening sequence (‘Throw me the idol. I’ll throw you the whip.’) & the entire pursuit of the Ark along the Nazi truck convoy. Genius.

Rating: 5 Lukes

ET the EXTRA TERRESTRIAL

Released: 1982

Starring: Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore

Plot: A group of Earth children help a stranded alien botanist return home.

For: The SFX still stand up today. The template for kids summer blockbusters.

Against: I’m probably going to shock a lot of readers here but I have to be honest. This film doesn’t do it for me. Even as a kid I didn’t tear up when ET left. All I kept thinking was, And? Another Against is the fact that Spielberg felt the need to digitally remove the guns of the government agents (and replace them with walkie talkies) in the re-release. Why? Their presence doesn’t advocate gun use for impressionable young ones. The government agents are clearly the bad guys. You want them to be threatening don’t you? A small point but it irritates me (but at least it isn’t Greedo shooting first level of annoying!).

Favourite Scene: ET successfully phones home using a modified Speak & Spell

Rating: 3 Lukes

That’s all for now. To be continued in Spotlight on…..Steven Spielberg part #2

This is the stuff that makes legends.  When the actions of one character turn the odds and save his party, those actions deserve to be immortalised.  A recent DDO quest showed the calibre of our guild, The Bro Code and in particular a Dwarf called Ruff.

At the end of a campaign called The Jungle of Kyber, adventurers need to fight a massive boss called The Inevitable. The Inevitable is a thirty foot tall construct (an intelligent Golem) with sonic attack on one hand that stuns and an electrical attack on the other that blinds. The Inevitable regenerates so if any attack falters health slowly builds increasing the imperative to hit him fast and hard.  All this besides the usual monstrous attack of just plain monumental bludgeoning force. The Inevitable is scary. We knew we were in for a snotting.

The room that the boss fight occurs seals when the fight commences so the usual trick of releasing (quitting the quest) healing and jumping back into the quest would not work here.  We had one chance to get this guy otherwise we’d have to start the quest from scratch. The first time we came close, but it was clear we were going to need speciality weapons. The second time, we were completely snotted by two mini bosses, a +5 level Troll with extraordinary regenerative abilities and a +9 level Beholder that killed with a look.

Third time, now equipped with Deathblock armour, chaos weaponry and an extra level for good measure, we re-entered the battle. Most of us were killed in a flash of lightning. Ruff the Dwarf though was still running and run he did.  While the rest of us scrambled to find ways of salvaging what was looking like another failed attempt, he just ran the entire circumference of the room keeping The Inevitable distracted.

Once again we started our attacks, this time staying well clear of the circling monster and the tasty dwarfish bait. Our attacks were all range, nothing ostentatious that may attract his attention and all attacks ceased when the monster lumbered close enough to notice. Comments such as, You know he’s a natural sprinter, very dangerous over short distances, started being spouted as the groups moral lifted and The Inevitable health was whittled away. With a strangled roar the monster crashed to the ground at Ruff’s feet. The ordeal was over, and a legend was born.

Last weekend my character, an elven thief called Philipia, found herself in a similar situation when a Fire Giant spotted her breaking into his throne room in Stormcleave Outpost. Instantly the call went up from the party, Do a Ruff! I clicked my haste and high tailed it around the room with the fire giant lumbering after. Eventually the giant was killed, another quest completed with no loss of life thanks to the ingenuity and fast feet of one dwarf. Well done Ruff, you’re a credit to motley crew that call themselves The Bro Code.